The next Ninja…Not.

The last two years I started streaming my video games on Twitch. I realize my nerd level just skyrocketed but I love gaming. I always have since I was a kid. I remember the night I got my very first console. It was a Playstation. On weekends my dad would take me to Blockbuster to rent a movie and a video game and we would grab a pack of pull and peel twizzlers. It’s one of my favorite memories I have from being a kid.

When I first started streaming, I was in a terrible relationship with someone who was not supportive of me doing it. I felt insecure about talking about it, and suppressed a passion. When I uprooted my life, I didn’t really get back into it until I was settled in my new apartment with my own bedroom and TV. My set up wasn’t ideal and the most practical or comfortable but it worked.

I’m such a small streamer but honestly, I have met the best people and made new friends and I love it. I’m no pro gamer, I suck at warzone actually but I have fun while doing it when I play with my friends or when I’m live. I look forward to making more friends and making more memories.

@blueberrystreemma

I’m back?

Not sure where to start, or even what I want to say. More than two years later since my last post and today I was drawn to my old blog. I’m not even sure if people even noticed or cared I left or stopped posting in the first place but maybe I can give it a shot again. Even if it’s just for me.

The last two years have been mayhem. I made major life decisions. Picked up my life and moved spontaneously to a new city and met new friends and re-bonded with old ones. It was terrifying and so badly I didn’t want to put myself through the challenges and stay in my not-so healthy relationship and be stagnant for the rest of my life. I needed more and I needed something and someone better.

I immediately fell in love with the city and the atmosphere and my new life. The last year had it’s challenges with losses, heartbreak, motivation, anxiety, new adventures, depression and well the list goes on.

Writing has always been an outlet of mine, one I have been super on and off with. I made a commitment I was going to write more this year, but I had to narrow down on the specifics of how I was going to make that happen. Since the beginning of 2021 I wake up and try to write first thing in the morning before I have even gotten out of bed, looked at my phone or had a cup of coffee. It usually only takes a few minutes, and it’s mostly of my dreams from the night before. It’s been therapeutic, weird and entertaining. At the end of the month, I spent a day or two typing out all my stories and I’ve started a mini book of short stories of my dreams. It’s really fun and something I always wanted to do but for whatever reason, never made that initial step forward.

It’s going to be a journey, but this year I am focusing on myself and what makes me happy and improving my overall quality of life. This could be my last post for a while, or I could be back tomorrow. I’m taking it one day at a time.

-EA

Bell, let’s talk

Hey everyone,

I know I’m a day late with “mental health awareness day”. To be honest, I’ve been having a few rough days and needed some time to process my emotions.

I’ve had anxiety for as long as I can remember. When I was younger I never really understood why I was feeling the way I did but as an adult, it makes sense. It was never anything that was accepted or even talked about like it is today. Do not misunderstand me though, society indeed has come a long way but it has so much more to overcome.

Over 6 years ago, I hit a really hard wall of depression and anxiety when I lost my brother to suicide. It was the most devastating event that has ever occurred in my life and it still pains me so much to this day, that I still find it hard to think about how much I miss him. It still hurts too much and I honestly don’t think that will ever change. It’s difficult for me to be emotionally hurt or feeling really low because my mind wanders off to the thought of my brother and how I would do anything to just call him up to hear his voice or to have him give me one of his giant bear hugs.

It weighs heavy on my heart but I cannot stress enough how important mental health is. It’s grossly overlooked, judged and misunderstood. My best friend made a really great point that put things into perspective for me. Bell’s campaign inspires a lot of people but at the same time it’s flawed in many ways. Mental health should not be recognized only one day a year. Everyone’s illness is more than an advertising campaign and it’s a topic that should be talked about every single day.

My message to anyone who doesn’t understand mental health and why it’s so important… EDUCATE YOURSELF.

My message, to anyone who struggles daily with anxiety or depression, or has lost someone to suicide or have thought dark thoughts. YOU are not alone, YOU matter, YOU are loved, YOU are important.

It’s okay not to be okay sometimes. ❤️

Busy week, busier weekend

Hey everyone!

Hope you all had a great weekend. Usually I work weekends but this time I was blessed enough to have it off.

I have been so busy lately with work and plans that I haven’t had a chance to post for a couple days and I apologize!

My two days off weren’t really relaxing either but it was still well enjoyed! My mum was in her first solo CrossFit competition yesterday and I spent the whole day supporting her and watching everyone compete. Honestly, it was so inspiring. Watching people of all ages, put themselves through that kinda of weight lifting and endurance was unbelievable.

Today I helped my best friend and her boyfriend move into their first apartment together. I’m so happy for them, but more happy that it’s literally right beside me. I don’t think our boyfriends are prepared for how often they are going to come home to us hanging out.

Now to top off the weekend, I’ve just been relaxing, about to make a snack and watch a movie.

How was everyone else’s weekend?

Try something new

Hey everyone!

So I came to this realization today. And every winter (as much as I hate the snow) I always want to try snowboarding, but never actually get around to doing it.

I do have a board from when I was younger and I unfortunately only used it less than a handful of times. I’m pretty sure I can still use it though so all I need is a good board clean, sharpen and wax.

I’m sure I’m going to spend most of the time falling on the booty and eating about half the snow on the mountain just from face planting. At the same time, I like I picture myself really finding this to be my secret talent if you want to call it that. Or even just an undiscovered skill waiting to be exercised.

I guess the beauty of life, is being able to discover these talents and skills that make life that much more exciting. You’ll never know until you try, as cheesy at that sounds.

Do something you don’t wanna do… it may be worth it

Hey everyone!

Quick post for tonight. I don’t believe I wrote one yesterday because I fell asleep so I’ll make sure to post two tomorrow to make up for it!

So my boyfriend was bugging me to go see the new Spider-Man into the spider verse movie for a while. To be honest, I thought it looked lame and I wasn’t interested in seeing it at all.

We had some movie gift cards from Christmas, so I finally agreed to go. All I can say is WOW. I really judged the movie unfairly before seeing it. I was blown away. Now it may not be a movie for everyone, but I loved it. I would go see it again, and that is not something that happens often!

If you’re looking for a good movie to see this week, that is for sure the one you gotta check out!

Ps, Im obsessed with this song thanks to Spider-Man.

Sunflower – Post Malone and Swae Lee,

Bad weather = reading and lots of naps

It’s that time of year where the awful weather is setting in and the last thing you want to do is set a single foot outdoors.

What better reason to curl up in bed or your couch, turn on your fav movie/tv series or read a book! That’s exactly what I’m going to do today.

Not leaving this bed for anything… maybe a smack later though.

Who else is doing the same while this awful weather is sticking around today?

Am I the only one who loves junk food when you’re sick…

Hey everyone!

If you’ve been following my post a day for January, you would have seen mine from yesterday ft. A really goofy puppy. Yesterday I also mentioned how I’ve come down with an awful cold. Well , today has not been much better in terms of sickness.

Now I’ve had a really crappy flu with chills and body aches and all that fun stuff with a touch of nausea but nothing crazy.

While people are sick they tend to lose their appetite, which has been the case for me. Except when I get my appetite back I don’t want a single thing that’s healthy for me.

I want poutine (vegetarian style), and kraft dinner, pizza and about a thousand bagels. I never know or understand why this happens but it’s a blessing and a curse all at the same time. I’m thankful I get an appetite back but I’m trying to eat healthier. I guess a couple days won’t hurt right?

Does this happen to anyone else or is this just me?

Puppy snuggles while sick is the best cure…

Happy Wednesday y’all,

If I’m being honest, today has been a little rough. More like a lot. I somehow am sick for the second time in two weeks. Except so much worse this time.

Luckily I have a really snuggly puppers and kitty and an awesome boyfriend which is helping me get through it. And Tylenol, lots of it.

I do work with the public a lot which probably explains me getting sick so frequently. So I can’t stress enough, wash hands frequently and sanitize often.

For anyone who is also sick or just needs a good smile – here’s a picture of my big Goober snuggling me while sick.

I need to start drinking more water…

Hello everyone!

As I’ve been continuing my little health journey I realized something I was missing. Something that is very important in ones every day life. Drinking water.

Since I stared eating a lot healthier, my cravings for pop get fewer and farther between. When I do cave and pour a glass I feel like absolute garbage afterwards. I guess that’s a good thing right? Before I could easily drink a few cans of Diet Coke a day. (I actually love the taste of Diet Coke)

I definitely need to up my water intake daily. Do you guys drink enough water daily?